A recipe and a stern warning

Take it from me, this stern warning is for your own good.

I'm making cookies and decided to make some fruitcake cookies (for the old folks, mind you ... nobody under 75). Recipe states to add things one at a time, like eggs, and a little bit of this and that, with a good stir and a prayer in between additions. Well, if you're like me, always rushed for time and flirting with bending the rules, you'll know what's coming next. SCREW THAT! I'm doing the old "dump everything in a stir it all at once" method!

Ordinarily I can get away with it, but here goes the warning. Unless you're into Crossfit or a professional level body builder, follow the recipe. I broke a wooden spoon trying to stir this mess, and might have even sprained my wrist.

RECIPE FOLLOWS

Awesome Fruitcake Cookies for Old People Only

1-1/2 cups of sugar
1 cup of butter, softened
3 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
pinch of salt
1 lb mixed candied fruit

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Beat sugar and butter at medium speed with a heavy-duty electric stand mixer until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating in between additions. Stir in vanilla. Sift together flour, baking soda and salt (and you can slide on this one and add them individually without sifting together), gradually add to sugar mixture, beating until blending. Stir in candied fruit. Drop dough by tablespoonfuls 1 inch apart onto lightly greased baking sheets. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool completely on wire racks.

Lots of luck to ya. Here's hoping yours turns out edible. Those old people might have some dental issues that nobody needs to contribute to.

One clean month ... starting "later"

Seems like a good idea on paper ... I've seen so many other people, mostly known liars on Facebook, saying that they were wildly successful at breaking bad habits, forming new habits, and feeling better simply by doing one thing: eating clean. See what I mean? Liars. Next thing you know, they'll be claiming they ran a half-marathon with two sprained ankles.

So clean eating, at least to me, means to eat only the things that I make, or reasonably could make if I had the time or inclination. So I want bread? I make it from flour, yeast, water. Chips? Easy enough. I read labels like a maniac anyway, so if one were to list maltrodextrin, modified tapioca starch, chicken powder (huh?),  carrageenan, potassium chloride, lactic acid and caramel color ... well, I'm pretty sure I don't have any of that in my pantry or fridge, so it's out.

My ultimate goal is to feel better, live longer, and not be cranky.  Okay, no guarantees on that last one, but it's a goal. And as I sit here eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, you can tell that I have quite a long month ahead.

Again, the rules: stick as close to natural, whole unprocessed foods as possible. If I can make it at home with available ingredients, then I can buy it, otherwise, it's all got to be grown or made fresh. Luckily, I don't mind cooking.

Shooting for Dec. 26. Lord, help me now.

Bloody Witches Fingers

Yes, it's a thing. And they're gross and taste good and creep you out, all at the same time. Someone at work has a whole table where for the month of October they collect snacks. I usually make zombie skin (spicy peanut brittle) but this year decided to do something extra. These were really easy and everyone who saw them went EWWWW! That's the sign of success, in my Halloween opinion.

Shortbread Finger Cookies
 2 sticks of butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 egg
1 t. almond extract
1 t. vanilla extract
2-3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
Sliced almonds
green food coloring
1 tube red decorator gel

In a bowl, beat together the butter, powdered sugar, egg, almond and vanilla extract. Add in the flour, baking powder and salt. Mix until it makes a dough, then add in a few drops of green food coloring until you get the color you want. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Take a teaspoon of dough and roll it out into a finger shape for each cookie. Press the almond slice into the end like a nail. Using a toothpick turned on its side, make three line indentions about a third of the way down, and then three more towards the bottom (these are for the knuckle joints). Bake in a 325 oven for 20 minutes. Let cool for 2-3 minutes, then gently remove the nail, squeeze some red decorator gel onto the nail bed and replace almond. The red gel should ooze out from under the almond.

Cool thoroughly before stacking or your gel will be a mess.

Cheese ... it's what's for dinner!

Recently I brought some cheese, crackers and grapes to work.  I got it all at Aldi, my new best friend. The grapes were just red seedless grapes; nothing remarkable. The crackers were an entertainer assortment, although they did nothing of the kind.  Not one of us was entertained in the least, except we did enjoy the crackers. But the CHEESE ... hoo boy, the cheese was the star of the show, as it should have been!

So, going in order from my least to most favorite:
#1: Apple Harvest Cheddar
The cheese was sharp cheddar with apple pieces and a hint of cinnamon.  It was smooth, and crumbly, and quite pungent.  I have nothing against it but think that melted into a slice of pie would do it more justice than eating it plain. 

#2: Sundried Tomato and Pesto (fill in the blank)
I have no earthly idea what sort of cheese this was.  And judging by the name, it was exactly what you'd expect.  You could taste the pesto, the cheese was smooth and didn't have an obnoxious bite, so all-in-all, I'd buy it again.  Just because it's #2 doesn't mean it wasn't good, but it wasn't as good as ...

#3: Jalapeno Havarti
This is a winner! Since Havarti cheese is good and jalapenos added to anything makes it even better, what's not to love?  However, I can't give it any more points than that due to what's coming up next ...

#4: The holy grail of cheese -- Blarney Castle
Even now, just looking the package makes me want to go back and buy more.  Right this minute, in fact.  It's a pale yellow, smooth and mellow cheese made from grass-fed cows, in Cork County, Ireland, same region as the Blarney Castle (of course I had to look that up – you think I know this stuff on my own??).  This will definitely be my go-to cheese from now on. 

Happy Birthday ta ME, and it’s not even my birthday … just feels like it!!!

Water woes

Just a random post -- about water.  About what??

Water.  As in, not drinking enough.  I just read where it says 80 ounces a day is the MINIMUM you should have to keep from dying.  If that's true, I should be long gone because there are days when I barely have a cup.  Apparently my innards are shriveling up and there are tumbleweeds in my belly.

So the requirement (theirs, not actually mine) is an ounce for every pound of body weight. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Uh, yeah, like that'll happen.  I'd be drinking water nonstop and eventually still drinking it as I'm on the potty getting rid of what I was already drinking while I'm still drinking it.  See the problem? It runs right thru.

I think I'll start with 100 ounces and go from there. Meanwhile, I just hope I can keep myself from dying!

Duct tape fixes everything

I have a very, very bright grandson who fluctuates between being full of crap, and insight, and good tips, and advice ...and he throws it out on a regular basis. Sometimes it borders on lectures, but he always tries to deliver it with a smile to soften the blow.

After a while, I realized that I was doing a great disservice to my friends and family by not passing on his sage wisdom, so this is my attempt at that. You are guaranteed to learn something.

One of my absolute favorites: I was taking him to school. We had to get there a little earlier that morning so he could eat breakfast. The reason? He woke up at 7:19! Here's how the conversation went:

Mimi: 7:19! Wow -- you didn't have time for anything except getting dressed!

Aiden: Yes, getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I haven't brushed them in five days (an exaggeration on his part, but ...).

M: Well, if you don't brush your teeth, they're going to fall out.

A: No, they're stuck in there really good. First I put glue, and then I put duct tape. Duct tape fixes everything and keeps it from falling apart forever.

M: Okay then, why didn't they use duct tape when you broke your arm?

A: It doesn't work that way.

And now you know.

 

 

 

Back in the saddle ... or in this case, checkered chef pants

Here I am, back in class. When I graduated from culinary school in 2011, I thought that was the end of it but nope ... I'm now in a Nutrition Specialist program. This semester is food science and it's kicking my butt. The best part though, as you might imagine, is that we get to actually cook! A science class usually has a lab, so this FOOD science's lab is a commercial kitchen. What's not to love about that?

So first of all, a little about the class. Food science, like I said, and the students are all over the spectrum as to cooking experience.  Nobody else has a culinary degree and some just took the class because they needed an elective. I just wanted to ask ... "um, what about this four-hour class looked like an easy A to you?" Many don't do the assignments, don't show up for class, don't participate in the lab portion, and I really wonder why they're there. But anyway ...

This gets right down to the nitty-gritty, molecular level of all foods and their components and which molecule is where on the double bond past the third amino acid on a chain ... LOST ME. I smile and nod and wait for the part where we get to go in the kitchen to cook. Meanwhile, I'm absorbing a little bit of the structure part but am sure that if I had a scientific mind, I'd do much better. A passing grade is what I'm after, and so far <<fingers crossed>>, so good.

Next semester will be more about nutrition and how it relates to health, and less about food composition. Whew.

'Nuff said about school. On to bigger and better and more entertaining things ...